i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
