i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
