Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
