You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
