I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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