David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize