dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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