Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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