Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
