Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize