I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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