Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
