I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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