all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize