Say something about gay babies.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
