Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
