Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
tell me about the eggs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
