Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Someone signed my nipple.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
