She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
