I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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