Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
are you so shy because you have an std?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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