Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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