laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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