So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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