please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
