I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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