He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
