I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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