i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
