i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
