I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
