So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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