Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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