How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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