I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
