just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
