Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
