Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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