i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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