She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
