You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
