just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
