The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
