just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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