wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
