well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
do herpes really smell.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
