OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
