is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
