I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
