He disabled his match.com account in front of me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just tell him i said nine months
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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