hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
