I want to make a zoo with you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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