I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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