was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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