Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
