I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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