My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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