are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
