Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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