I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize