I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
