what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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