Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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