Whod you bang
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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