I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if only i could text you this smell
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
