In the future we'll all be gay
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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