Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My room smells like vodka and shame
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
