What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
