This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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