hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
