Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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