You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sorry about my life...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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