dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize