I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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