I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
