I could have mohawked her pubes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
