Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
