Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
