I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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